God is good..

July has been a beautiful month, hot, sunny and perfect. Summer is all too fleeting.

I have been so blessed by my friends and family, beautiful cards, flowers, prayers and sentiments. God sends us just what we need when we need them. I am still grieving my little gummy bear. He (I felt like the baby was a boy) looked so perfect on the ultrasound screen and it is not for me to know why God called him home to heaven. God is so good, He sends good things to His children and I trust Him fully. There is so much peace knowing that He is in charge. This life is so fleeting but eternity is forever. I will enjoy the company of my 3 babies who are now in heaven forever! What a blessing for them that they did not have to endure the trials and sin of this life; I'm sure they wouldn't come back for anything. They are in the presence of the Living, Holy God.

A poem

This is a beautiful poem I found on Above Rubies.

BABY TEARS

We cried tears when we learned that a child would be,

that your God had allowed you to quicken in me.

We cried tears with our loved ones as they shared our joy

and we thought about names for a girl or boy.

I cried tears as I thought of the things we would do,

all the things that your Daddy would pass on to you.

And I cried as I thought of each inch you had grown

as I pondered the day you'd make yourself known.

Then, to think of the world you must enter brought fears

once again, Little Loved One, your mother cried tears.

Something's wrong I can tell… once again there are tears

and I'll not get the chance of your love through the years.

Oh, the ache and the sorrow and all of the pain… and again,

yes, again... my tears fell like rain.

Then His peace comes to me as I think of you there

gently rocking with Father in His favourite chair.

Your sweet little fingers clenched tight in His palm

and His Son softly singing to help keep you calm.

Our Father knew your days before they came to be

And He knew, Little One, you would not stay with me.

So I cry, but I know that when this life is done

I will greet and embrace you, my sweet Little One

There's a time to be born and a time to die

and the joy and the sorrow both make us cry.

CONNIE JOHNSON

Rough couple of days..

I have been in the hospital for 2 days due to a uterine infection after the d&c. I just got home today and I am so happy! It was a miserable 2 days, but I am happy to be on the mend. Also, Jesse's dad fell and broke his hip so he had both of us in the hospital at the same time. When it rains, it pours. God is good, God is faithful...always. I trust Him, He knows what He is doing, even if we don't know or understand WHY? Thanks to everyone for their prayers.

Great post...

This is a good post about Homeschooling over at Books and Bairns.

She is so "right on" about homeschooling. You just never know and your perfectly planned schedule may flop. It is a ride and a wonderful one, at that!

Colton

This is Colton, dressed up for the VBS skit, in which he played a British Butler. His accent was spot on, too.

Colton celebrated his birthday, yesterday. 18 years ago on a hot, windy July day, Jesse and I brought our first little child into the world. We brought him home on the 4th of July, dressed in red, white and blue, of course. It was a struggle from the start (just being honest). He had colic and was extremely fussy and angry (it seemed). We felt so inadequate. I have to say that things are still a struggle with our firstborn, at times (honest again!). We are proud of him for working hard at his job (he works at a local discount store) and taking college classes online. He will start an Electrician's Apprentice program in the Fall and continue to live at home. He is a smart kid and can accomplish most anything he puts his mind to. He scored a 27 on his ACT w/o even studying or prepping for it,which I thought was pretty darn good. My goal for him, my prayer for him is that He follows God his entire life; stays within His will and stays in His Word...daily. That is the only thing that matters...

Happy Birthday Colton!!!!

I'm home..

My poor doctor thought that I didn't know the bad news yet...she is so thoughtful and caring. I definitely did know the news..knew it before the radiologist even said a word...there was no beating heart on my sweet little babe at the u/s on Tues. Anyway, she asked me if I wanted to schedule a d&c or just wait it out. With my history of bleeding I chose to go ahead with the d&c and had the procedure done at noon today. After it was over, doctor agreed that I had a lot of bleeding. I am home now and recovering, also, thanking God that it is over and hoping to regain some strength. Thanks for all of your prayers.

Doctor's appt

I have a doctor's appt today to check the hcg levels in my blood and then will go from there. Still no bleeding and still feeling quite nauseous, which is depressing. Will update when I get home.